Killer roast speeches, best man toasts, and party speeches — personalized, hilarious, and delivered fast. You just show up and deliver.
🌶 The only speech service that lets you choose exactly how savage to go 🌶
We specialize in roasts — but we write every speech where someone deserves to be celebrated, teased, or both.
The classic. Birthdays, retirements, bachelor parties. We roast with love — or without it, your call.
The most terrifying 5 minutes of your life. We'll make you look like you've been funny your whole life.
Heartfelt, hilarious, or both. A speech that has her crying and laughing at the same time.
For the milestone birthdays. 30, 40, 50, 60 — the older they are, the more material we have.
Send them off with the sendoff they deserve. Decades of material, one legendary speech.
Father of the bride, mother of the groom — a warm, memorable toast that doesn't ramble.
From order to speech in as little as a few hours. You provide the dirt, we do the rest.
Tell us about the guest of honor — their quirks, embarrassing stories, what makes them easy to tease.
Mild and clean, medium with some edge, or full hot — you choose how savage we go.
A personalized, polished speech lands in your inbox. Funny, structured, ready to deliver.
Walk in, deliver the speech, collect your laughs. Nobody needs to know. That's between us. 🤫
Every roast order lets you dial in exactly how spicy to go. We calibrate the humor to your crowd.
Playful and warm. Safe for grandma, the kids, and your boss. Plenty of laughs, zero awkward silences.
Sharp and funny with some real edge. A few people will gasp before they laugh. The sweet spot for most events.
Gloves off. Adult humor, no sacred cows. Perfect for a close group who can handle the heat. Not for funerals. Or weddings. Probably.
Every package includes your chosen heat level, one revision, and delivery to your inbox.
"I had three days notice and zero ideas. The speech had my brother's whole side crying laughing. Three people asked if I was a professional writer. I am not."
"Our boss has been with the company 30 years and deserved a legendary sendoff. I went medium heat and it was absolutely perfect. He's still quoting it."
"Went full hot for my buddy's 40th. He was mortified. In the best possible way. Worth every penny and then some."
The more dirt you give us, the better the roast. There are no wrong answers here.